Our Recent Vacation to San Francisco

We were very excited about going to San Francisco. Jess had been there for a night or two with some girlfriends about seven or eight years ago on their way to more adventures in southern California. And Mike had never been west of Iowa City.

We were flying out for Mike’s brother, James, who was getting married in Mount Shasta and we wanted to spend a couple days in San Francisco beforehand. While James lives in Seattle, he travels to San Fran for work often, and he gave us a list.

We researched for the month leading up to our trip about all the things to do in San Francisco. We talked to neighbors and co-workers. We searched online. We even went to page three of Google! Page three!

The concierge at James’s five-star hotel (where they were staying for a night before their honeymoon in Hawaii) sent over some interesting things, mainly expensive restaurants to try. But the touristy-must-sees that we were looking for closely resembled the other top ten articles we’d read.

Then what the hell exactly is there to do in San Francisco?

Arriving in San Francisco

We took an early flight out of Newark and landed just before noon PST. We rented our car, sat in some traffic, and looked for a bite before we checked into the hotel unless I just ripped a doozy of a fart in bed.

Getting off the highway and on our way to In and Out, we were stopped at a light when Jess stared through me, her face twisting in ways I don’t normally see.

“Look,” she said.

I turned to my left to see a man, dressed as a woman (or had been the night before, makeup smearing), shorts pulled down to his ankles, and pissing out into the middle of the street.

Jess had stared, trying to figure out exactly what was happening. Luckily, it didn’t take me too long and I understood after half a second, far too little time to see anything particular. Thank God.

When we told this story to the other guests at my brother’s wedding later that week, the response was the same, “At least he wasn’t taking a shit.

Welcome to San Francisco.

List of 4 Things You Must Do in San Francisco

Most of the ‘Top Ten Things to Do in San Francisco’ had similar lists. Articles that went all the way to 15 or (gasp!) 20 obviously had some additional ones, but always included both the San Francisco Giants stadium (AT&T Park) and the San Francisco 49ers stadium (Levi’s Stadium), which seemed to defeat the purpose because they only play at the same time for maybe, if everything goes best case scenario, for three months. And that’s including preseason football.

1. Alcatraz

This was the highlight of the whole trip. After a short boat ride with spectacular views of the Golden Gate Bridge and downtown, we arrived at the island’s dock.

You get a free audio tour with your ticket. Don’t pay for anything else. This was by far one of the best audio tours (and tours of any kind, for that matter) and they did a great job reenacting some of the craziest scenes from the prison’s history.

Also, don’t be afraid to do a little exploring. The audio tour shows you the outside common area, but doesn’t lead you down the steps. If you don’t mind walking in some bird poo (I’ve never seen so much in my life), you can walk around and see the baseball field and explore the common area.

Advice: As soon as you book your flight and hotel, book your Alcatraz tour. It sells out well in advance and, if it weren’t for the luck of the Irish, we wouldn’t have been able to see it. But, if it’s all booked, keep trying, even once you get to the city. They hold a certain amount of tickets for last-minute reservations, which is how we found ours.

2. Muir Woods

Before we did Alcatraz, on the last day of our trip, Muir Woods was the highlight.

As you can see from our hiking and camping trips, we like this sort of thing. But even if your family doesn’t hike, this is something you must do.

Even the drive over the Golden Gate, through the Robin Williams Tunnel and up the mountain, was one of the most beautiful rides we’ve taken. Every now and then you’d catch a glimpse between the trees of the valley below. Unbelievable.

The park itself was just as amazing. It almost felt like we were in a church. Now, these redwoods aren’t quite as big as the ones you’ll find in upstate California, but they are still massive.

The trails are well-maintained and easy to navigate and range in difficulties. We only had time to spend about two hours there but could’ve easily spent double that. Definitely fit Muir Woods into your trip.

3. Fisherman’s Wharf

When we first drove into the city (after the pee incident), we were just looking for a quick bite before we checked into the hotel. What else would we look for besides an In and Out?

Of course, the only In and Out in the city is at Fisherman’s Wharf. And, well, after a six-hour flight and no real food in like seven or eight hours, we weren’t quite ready for the chaos and the amount of people.

Make no mistake, there are people everywhere.

But, when we made it back a couple days later, and were ready for the crowds, it’s actually a very cool spot. I will say, don’t stop at one of the restaurants. Instead, just get your food from one of the street vendors or stands and find a spot. It was one of the best crab cakes I ever had.

But, just take the time and walk around, see the carnies and performances, and people watch. You’ll have plenty of opportunity there.

4. Golden Gate Bridge (And the Overlooks)

After seeing it some many times in movies, TV, and pictures, I realized I had no idea just how massive the Golden Gate Bridge is until we drove over it and went to the overlooks to take pictures.

When you’re driving over it, the bridge seems to go on forever, with a hill in the middle to make sure it could reach the other side.

Once on the north side of the bridge, take the first exit and drive up the winding road to the overlooks. Don’t stop at the first one! Keep going to the top to find the best views. Parking can be tricky, and at the top near Fort Baker and the Battery Spencer, it will be windy.

But those views of the bridge are some of the best.

4 Things You Should Probably Do in SF

The list of must-sees in San Francisco isn’t very expansive, but those listed below were probably on every single one of them.

And yes, we did them.

And, most of them were cool. But, if you only have a day or two there, you don’t need to do these.

1. San Francisco Giants

This was a must-do for us because I’m a baseball fanatic. And, it was actually Jess’s idea, which shows just how much she loves me.

The stadium is beautiful, walking distance from Union Square, and gives you some great views. If you go, take the time to walk around and see all the different corners of the stadium.

There are a lot of great perks, such as a beir garden in center field (though you can’t really see the game from there) and lots of food options. And the stadium is small, cozy, and just a comfortable spot to watch the game.

If you’re more of a football fan, I’ve heard that Levi’s Stadium, where the 49ers play, is just as beautiful and fan-friendly.

2. Ride the Trolleys

It’s a pain in the ass because every tourist is waiting on line to hop on. Our wonderful concierge told us to go to a stop at Union Square, which was the second stop to beat the hustle and bustle and general chaos of the first stop. But at least three went by completely filled because, well, no one is getting off at the first stop. They hadn’t even seen anything cool yet.

Go to the first stop at Market and Powell, which is where everyone gets off and you can make sure you have a seat.

The ride in general is about what you’d expect. Your kids will love it and you’ll think it’s cool for the first block or two and it’s definitely worth doing. I mean, you’re in San Francisco. But it’s nothing incredible.

The good thing is you can take the trolley from Union Square to Fisherman’s Wharf, which will help you check those off your list.

3. Watch the Seals

When I saw that watching seals lay on a wooden board at a pier was on all the top ten things to do, I was like, damn, there is nothing to here.

But I have to make a confession. I’m a nerd. And, well I’m a nature buff too, and was actually pretty into this. They have a couple informative posters all around the spot that tells you why the seals come to that specific spot and when they are most plentiful.

Again, it’s cool. It’s worth doing, especially because it’s so close or part of Fisherman’s Wharf. But you’ll spend 15-20 minutes there and move on.

4. Lombard Street

Again, this was way more built up in my head than in reality. It was cool to look at from the bottom and looking up (with a hundred or so other people all trying to take the same photo you’ve seen thousands of times).

But it’s cool for like a minute or two.

Even driving down it looks way more challenging than it actually is, especially in the automatic rental. In fact, the hardest part was avoiding the pedestrians who thought that the best place to stand and take photos was right in the middle of the street.

Overall, go there. You need to see it in person. But if you spend more than 10 minutes there I’ll be shocked.

4 Things We Wish We Did in San Francisco

1. Twin Peaks

This is something we definitely wanted to get to, but with only two and a half days in the city, unfortunately we didn’t get to it.

Based on the photos we’ve seen afterwards, and the few people we’ve talked to, this spot provides the best views of the San Fran skyline and of the city in general.

Definitely check it out if you go and share your experiences in the comments below so we live vicariously through you and your awesome vacations.

2. Napa Valley

We tried to make it to a winery in Napa Valley, in a beautiful town called, Calistoga. We missed it by about 15 minutes, but luckily, we ended up finding one of the best BBQ places I’ve ever eaten at called Buster’s Original Southern BBQ.

If you’re in Napa Valley or anywhere in the state, you need to stop there. Whatever you order, it will be delicious.

With another day we would’ve spent the whole day touring wineries, but we only had so much time.

3. Chinatown

We did have a chance to drive through here, but we didn’t have a chance to stop anywhere. It went on for blocks and had plenty of options for food, but we didn’t have a chance to make this a priority.

Being that we knocked off all the touristy ‘must-dos’, if we’re ever back, we’ll definitely make a point of going to a few of these restaurants and walking around Chinatown a little more.

4. Haight-Ashbury

I know, I know, I know, my inner-hippie was disappointed that I didn’t make it here, but it wasn’t a must-see compared to Muir Woods, Alcatraz, and the Golden Gate.

But still, if we ever make it back this is somewhere I would make a point of stopping at. I just have a pretty good sense that, as with many of the other things in San Francisco, it’ll be interesting for a couple minutes and not much more.

Things You Don’t Need to See

After reading all the same things on all of the websites, we figured that all of them were going to be worth making a stop at.

Unfortunately, that wasn’t really the case.

1. Union Square

The concierge at our hotel, which also offered timeshares so she was very obviously just trying to be nice enough to get us to sign up for there really convenient free breakfast so they could sell us a timeshare, told us that Union Square was like Times Square in New York.

Now, I know I’m biased. I think that New York is the center of the universe.

And I also know that San Francisco has about one-tenth of the population of New York.

But the only thing that Union Square and Times Square have in common is the “Square” in the name. There were no lights, no building size advertisements; no street vendors. There weren’t even any people.

Yes, it was the middle a Wednesday in June, but we saw about two dozen people. Total. The whole half hour we were there. And, almost all of them were passing through on their way to something way more interesting.

There was one young gentleman wearing a hiking backpack who had taken some hallucinogens (and did not share, by the way) who was analyzing the potted plants with great enthusiasm.

Make no mistake, the architecture around Union Square (and most of the city for that matter) was beautiful. But this was no Times Square. This wasn’t even a West Coast version of it. It was closer, shockingly, to Union Square in Manhattan without the vendors and without the plants and trees. And, ya know, without the people.

You don’t need to see this, but you probably should make a point of doing it. I mean, it’s there and there’s only so much to do in the city.

San Francisco Weather

Regardless of what you decide to do in San Fran, dress warm. We went at the end of June and I don’t think it hit 70 degrees. Maybe during the day and if you found some magical spot that was both in the sun and protected from the wind, it hit 70.

Otherwise, between the wind and the clouds, it was brisk the whole time.

San Francisco Hotels

Hotel Nikko

This is where Mike’s youngest brother, Rich, stayed and was only a couple blocks from our crummy hotel. If you’re going to SF, at least check this out this hotel. We stopped by to meet Rich before the Giants game and the hotel was beautiful with a giant lobby, the rooms were clean and sleek with a modern design, and the few employees we encountered were very friendly.

The Donatello

This is where we stayed and, while it wasn’t bad, it wasn’t great by any stretch. It had good amenities and pretty good reviews, which is why we chose it on. However, once we showed up it wasn’t what we’d hoped.

First, the good. There is a Starbucks downstairs, which is convenient, especially when the breakfast buffet was something like $20. There was also a rooftop lounge with outdoor seating. We met a couple up there that was sharing a bottle of wine before dinner.

And, now the bad. Everything else about the hotel was very dated. The rooms were old and looked it and felt it. The hallways were old. I think they were trying to be this classic-Victorian style, but it just looked old, which made it feel dirty or musky. The service was good and the employees were nice, so there’s nothing to really big to complain about. Just for that price, you can find better.

To sum it up, we wouldn’t stay here again.

Other Hotels in San Francisco

These are the only two that we experienced firsthand, but, shockingly, there are plenty of other options. Check them out at Hotels.com to find one quickly and easily.

Overall Feelings About Our Trip to San Francisco

This was tough on us. I don’t know what we were expecting, but I know it was more.

More of something.

It just seemed like San Francisco is a cool place, but not really that interesting to visit. Maybe if we had someone who lived there show us around a little more, the secret holes in the wall, and other cool places you won’t find on any ‘Top Ten’ list. But overall, we weren’t impressed and we’re in no rush to go back.

Overall, it seemed like a city you visit for the weekend, but it’s really a stopover for going somewhere else, whether it’s Napa Valley and northern California, or going south to LA and San Diego.

If you’ve been, share your comments below, especially if we missed any of the fun things to do.